I remember coming home from Afghanistan at 19 years old.

At that age, the brain is still maturing. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, the prefrontal cortex—which governs judgment, impulse control, and decision-making—keeps developing into the mid-20s, usually around 25 or 26.

What I didn’t expect was the silence.

The distance.

The feeling that everyone else had moved on while I was stuck somewhere in between.

Maybe you’ve felt that too — after deployment, after a long shift rotation, after leaving for work or college — that strange feeling like you don’t fully belong anywhere anymore.

I didn’t understand what was happening inside me. I just coped the only way I knew how — the way my environment taught me.

When someone died, we drank.
When someone got married, we drank.
When we were bored, we drank.

It was normal. Until it wasn’t.

Over time, I built habits that were destroying me. I surrounded myself with people who escaped instead of healed. What started as bonding turned into numbing.

Sleep deprivation from trauma led to paranoia. Drinking made it worse. I felt like something had drained the life out of me — like my soul was empty.

One night, overwhelmed and exhausted, I made the decision to end my life by overdosing on medication.

And then my phone rang.

A loved one said something simple but direct:
“This is enough. You need help. You’re going to end up dead.”

That call saved my life.

I truly believe God gave me another chance — not just to survive, but to speak.

To tell you this:

You don’t have to fight alone.

This isn’t about being elite.
This isn’t about being a Superman or Wonder Woman.
This isn’t about “if you’re not one of us, you’re out.”

This is for the police officer.
The firefighter.
The nurse working those long shifts.
The doctor carrying loss home.
The veteran adjusting to civilian life.
The father trying to hold it together.
The mother exhausted but silent.
The son. The daughter.

Mental health struggles like PTSD, anxiety, depression, and trauma are real. And strong people experience them every day.

The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is to stay in the fight.

Here are things that helped me:

1. Small Wins Matter

Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated.

Splash cold water on your face.
Brush your teeth.
Get dressed with intention.

Small wins create momentum. Momentum builds confidence. (We need this)

2. Make Your Bed

It sounds simple. It is.

But discipline starts with the smallest tasks. When you come home after a long shift and your bed is made, it’s a reminder: you showed up for yourself today.

Stop waiting for someone else to fix your life.

Start with the pillow.

3. Read Something That Strengthens You

Find a book that challenges your mindset.

As you grow, you may realize certain environments and even certain friendships are built around unhealthy habits. That’s okay. Growth sometimes requires distance.

You are allowed to outgrow what is hurting you.

4. Create a Positive Routine

On your day off, or even before a 12-hour shift, build a habit that’s yours.

A coffee shop.
A library.
A quiet place to think.

Consistency builds identity. Identity builds strength.

No excuses. Adjust. Adapt. Move forward.

5. Physical Discipline

You don’t have to train for a marathon.

But you do need movement.

Run. Lift. Walk. Train.

When the urge hits to drink, isolate, or self-destruct, put on your shoes and move your body. Physical training rebuilds mental resilience.

Discipline creates freedom.

Very Important

If you try these things and you still feel like you’re drowning:

Stop.
Call someone.
Reach out.

In the United States, you can call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — 24/7, confidential, free.

If you’re outside the U.S., there are resources where you live. Find them. Or contact us, we will help you find support.

There is no weakness in asking for help.
The real weakness is pretending you don’t need it.

We don’t give up on our people.

And if you’re here reading this, you’re one of ours.

No one fights alone.

LLV MRG